Sunbeam In A Tiny Pinafore...

Now I know I'm way past the stage in life where one cld change one's ambitions w/ every new issue of the comic book, but a feeling somewhat similar came over me the other day. I was walking down the road, on my way to the office n I wanted to trade my profession for another. No, I'm very happy w/ my work, but I saw smthng which made me wish if only I cld.

I was on the footpath, when suddenly a school bus came n stopped a li'l distance frm me. N running...actually dancing, hopping happily towards the bus was this li'l girl...arms flailing joyously...the pigtail bobbing up n down, just as happily...a water bottle around her tiny li'l neck...in a pinafore so tiny that it cldnt've been anything but cute!! For a moment, I thought she was running to me n I almost stooped down to scoop her up into my arms...but she ran instead into the waiting welcoming arms of the school bus conductor...now m not sure if this is the right designation for his job profile, but for want of a better word, we'll use this one. Anyway, I felt this guy has prolly the most satisfying of jobs. There was a bustling busload of very bubbly -- n apparently very naughty -- li'l girls...n m sure each one of them must've run to him just as eagerly n just as happily...

N he seemed genuinely happy w/ wot he did for a living...it was written all over his face...in that big broad smile w/ which he greeted those bundles of joy.

At one point in life, I wanted to be a nursery school teacher. I've always adored those cute li'l colorful chairs n tables, w/ tiny feet dangling mid-air...those books w/ scrawls struggling to be letters of an elusive alphabet...water-bottles huddled in a corner, or peeping out of a window...lunch boxes filled w/ delicious bribes...compass boxes w/ rowwwwss of brightly colored pencils, innocently disproportionate to the writing they'll never do...but just to be traded or flaunted...those toothless grins...those conspiratorial wide-eyed secrets whispered into tingling cupped ears...those make-believe worlds where u cld be a doctor or a pilot, just by saying u r one...

I so wish I really were a part of that beautiful magical world, where I cld say 'I'm-a-school-bus-conductor' n I wld be...

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Those Raindrops Keep Fallin' In My Head...

Since the past week or so, all calls/msgs frm my friends in Bombay have invariably been interspered w/ phrases like "it's been pouring non-stop for the past n days" "it's raining like crazy", "it's raining cats n dogs"...leaving me all green w/ envy! I miss those crazy unforgiving Bombay rains! Now Bangalore weather is all fine...it's cool comfortable n pleasant. But I miss the madness...the sheer downpour...the deafening din of rain lashing against windows, walls, trees...patiently...incessantly.

I esp miss the beach...it was so teasingly close...just a 5 min walk frm my place. N during heavy rains, I'd sometimes walk upto it n watch the sea raging, tossing n turning in all its glorious fury. But I must admit it's a scary sight. Usually the sea is very inviting...even when she sends huge waves at u. But during the monsoon, she's a totally different creature...all grey, opaque, choppy...foaming! But it'd somehow still be beautiful...a bit like staring at a snarling tigress! Lethally beautiful!

The best part wld be the crazy wind...so totally out of its mind! On which the rain wld hitch a ride n come lashing crashing onto ur face...ur back...it wld literally bite n u cld feel those teeth digging into u. But weirdly enough, it left u smiling...stupidly, at those furious clawing raindrops...n the sea, raging beyond! Sometimes when I'd feel braver -- read foolish -- than usual, I'd go stand right at the mouth of this storm-water drain, which emptied into the sea...n be confronted w/ this tantalizing spray frm the waves crashing onto those black boulders. One cldnt help wishing to magically metamorphose into a sea-gull...cackling away w/ pleasure...teasing even more, the irate sea goddess...

Bollywood has a weird fascination for the rains -- n for some very obvious reasons, of which I wont bore u w/. The result being that most things associated w/ that heavenly downpour have been cliched to death...none more so than walking on Marine Drive, hand in hand w/ gigantic waves crashing over u. Be that as it may, it certainly feels wonderful...sitting there on the wall...clothes clinging to ur soaking skin...rivulets of rain running down ur face...ur lips...the tongue involuntarily making a grab at raindrops...u sit there, watching raindrops on ivory arms...shivering slightly, u instinctively tend to huddle closer...n can literally feel the heat flowing wherever the bodies touch...it's such a delicious feeling...so very sensuous. N yet watching that gigantic sea roaring in front of u kinda makes u feel very vulnerable n fragile...as if it cld wreck everything...bringing it all down in a single...decisive...crash...

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A Gossamer Evening...

Twilight...one of those days when everything around u is swathed in an orange hue...as if a naughty boy w/ a bucketful of watery color has run around town...w/ a mammoth brush...n water-colored orange, everything n everyone in sight...

A cool breeze in the window...the coconut palms swaying...singing...lazily...

Lying on a cool smooth stony flooring...on the stomach...chin on palms...eyes following a pair of beautifully chiselled feet...anklet-laden...delicate silver slivers...clutching contentedly at those smooth soft ankles...disdainfully oblivious of that pair of envious pursuing eyes...

The feet walk delicately...as if afraid to not trample even their reflection on that smooth surface...it's sheer pleasure just following them around...wishing u cld do it forever...just gazing at those feet...walking up n down...up n down...all around...all over...playfully, even over u...giving 'trampled underneath' a whole new delicious meaning...suddenly, they stop in front of my face...those smiling pretty feet...a honeyed muffled voice...as if thru a haze..."Come-on-get-up-the-movie-starts-in-half-an-hour" ...but a finger's busy writing on those feet...the words, I-Love-You-Forever-N-Ever-N-Ever-N-Ever...soft hands ruffle my hair...I turn around...onto my back...n gaze up, to a milky white chudidaar...w/ tiiinyy light green floral prints...arms akimbo...big black eyes...playfully stern...staring...smooth silky luscious black hair trying desperately to hide a pair of dangling pearl earrings...n the face wearing a mock exasperated expression...mouthing the words, You-Are-Maddddd...trying hard to suppress a smile...but equally happy to give up...n break into a radiant smile...

34 dazzling pearls...

Suddenly milky white chudidaar kneels down...

Two tickets torn eagerly...being engulfed in a black silken smoothness...an explosion of perfume, hot fragrant breath...two sofffttt lips...n then blissfully melting, falling falling falling down a spiral...praying it's forever!

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Of Rain-soaked Songs...

Having grown up in Bombay, I've always loved walking in the rain...well, actually the unrelenting Bombay rains dun leave u w/ much of a choice than to walk in the rain...smtimes, it'd even conspire w/ the drainage system to turn the whole city into one large swirling mass of raging water...n then there'd be times when the transport system wld pitch in too...so if u had a home to go back to, u had to walk...even if it meant walking all the way frm Churchgate to Bandra! Yes, I've actually seen ppl doing that...there'd be this huge swarming soaking-wet mass of mankind inching slowly frm the "townside" to the "suburbs"...it's at such times that the spirit of the city really shone thru...there'd be ppl distributing tea snacks water...

I miss that place...

But I'll stroll down Nostalgia Streets of Bombay in another post :)

This is abt a beaaauuutiful evening frm a few days back...yes it was raining...n there was thunder n lightning too! But not at all frightening! Au contraire, it was just perfect...n since I cld see a lot of sky, it made it all the more dramatic...a bit like those cliched scenes in Hindi movies...the crack of lightning followed by a clap of thunder...but this evening was picture-perfect...

I cldnt catch the thunder all that well, coz I had these hauntingly beautiful voices crooning inside my head...now this might sound unromantic, but I had the headphones to my cell strapped onto my ears...I wish it was live or atleast frm a dashing pair of Cadence Arca speakers...but I wont nitpick :)

Thing is I was listening to sm really good songs...the mood was just right...n the weather almost tailor-made...
I love songs w/ poetry...feelings...w/ lyrics which not only try to convey deep emotions, but also do it thru gorgeous words. One of my favorite lyricists is Gulzar. Love his metaphors...n his songs r so unhurried...n so very earthy...his combination w/ Pancham n Asha is just amazing...the song that immediately springs to mind is Mera Kuch Saman frm Ijazat...one needs to listen to such songs on a rainy evening...preferably at arnd twilight...switch off all the lights...n listen to the songs as the evening light slowly fades into the night...

I was sitting there for hours n suddenly this thought crossed my mind...actually it's crossed my mind many times before n I know it -- fortunately -- will many more times. Thing is while listening to ghazals...or smthng similar, I invariably wish I were really a king! No, I'm not hungry for power, nor do I harbour any ambitions to rule the world...but only a king cld've had a courtful of these brilliant musicians. In a way m glad I'm not one, coz I'd've made a lousy king...the only things on my mind wld've been wine, song n women! ;-)

Anyway...

I was looking out my window, at the rain drop w/ this beautiful melody -- of course that was the music playing in my head(phones) -- but it kinda felt like it was falling in beat w/ the song. N the effect was just awesome...I cldnt help wishing I had a shamiana laid out on my terrace w/ these musicians performing just for me. I know it's too self-indulgent, but I just cldnt help wishing for it. Live music has a totally different feel to it. I've never been to any light-music concert...just rock concerts n classical music/dance ones...n they've just been electrifying. U can listen to them till the wee hours of the morning...n still keep wanting more!

So it's not very difficult to imagine what accomplished artists like Iqbal Bano, Farida Khanum, Mehdi Hasan, Jagjit Singh, Mallika Pukhraj, Abida Parveen...cld do...they wld no doubt have set the night on fire...

But unfortunately, the songs in my cell werent of these artists. They're there on my desktop...but what I did have wasnt bad at all. There was Lata crooning Sili Hawa Choo Gayi, Khamosh Sa Afsana...Asha singing Khaali Haath Shaam Ayi Hai, Mera Kuch Saaman, In Aankhon Ki Masti Mein...Suresh Wadkar, Seene Mein Jalan...Talat Aziz, Zindagi Jab Bhi ...Jagjit, Tumko Dekha Toh Yeh Khayal Aya, Tum Itna Jo Muskura Rahe Ho...I dun want to list all of them, but they were all of a similar mood...

It was an amazing evening...n I felt glad to feel weird enough to actually switch off all the lights n sit out at the window w/ nothing but the misty spray frm the rain on my face n that hauntingly melodious music in my ears...staring into the night sky n seeing a shamiana...ghungroos dancing w/ the raindrops...the swirl of a glittering skirt...n the occassional lightning n thunder...it was as if even the heavens were applauding the performances...

Zindagi Jab Bhi Teri Bazm Mein Laati Hai Humein
Yeh Zameen Chaand Se Behtar Nazar Aati Hai Humein

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Yay! Red Letter Day!

Today definitely qualifies as a red-letter day...a bright-crimson-red red letter day...hell, make that neon-glowing red letter day! I know I prolly sound like m going overboard, but I really really am happy! Err...well, not exactly happy, but very definitely relieved! Ever since I moved frm Aamchi Mumbai to this valley of Silicon, the thing right at the top of my to-do list, was to get me a gas connection! N it ranked even above getting a bloody house to stay in!

Thing is, I used to dig those cookery shows on Travel & Living...n have always wanted to cook! I'd watch them the way bored housewives glue themselves to those atrocious saas-bahu serials during the afty! I wasnt bored or anything...just that I love the colors n textures of those freshly cleaned bright beautiful vegetables. My personal favorite was the one called "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations", followed closely by "Kylie Kwong Simply Magic". BTW whenever I'd watch these shows, I'd be reminded of that scene frm Monsoon Wedding, where Naseer's kid, who -- the kid, n not Naseer -- is shown to be very effeminate, in reply to his query as to what he wants to do when he grows up, cheekily tells him that he wants become a "khansama"...a chef! I harbour no such ambitions...n my wrist action is pretty firm ;-)

One of the reasons I like Bourdain, is coz he's partial to street food, which goes very well w/ urs truly too! N besides that, he also "writes" well...he'd string together descriptions of delicious food w/ rants, philosophy n lovely phrases. I wld smday love to go travelling around south-east asia savoring their street food. Armed, of course, w/ a camera!

I really must start saving! How I'm gonna do that, I have no clue whatsoever! After paying the installment on my home-loan, credit card bills, phone bill, rent, mine is pretty much a hand-to-mouth existence!

I so wanna go cry right now! :(

Wow! I started out this post in a rather upbeat mood...n here I was abt to spill my tears into a chipped coffee-cup! I'm prone to mood-swings! Almost everybody who's been w/ me has had this complaint at the top of the list...

But I'm digressing!

As I mentioned earlier the thing that was at the top on my to-do list after moving here was to get a gas connection, but I never really got around to doing it! I must've told everybody I knew abt my plans to get a gas connection SOON...tomorrow...next weekend...definitely tomorrow! I've bugged quite a few ppl abt info...as in which service is better...Jyothi, Elf, HP. Now HP was immediately out of the question...I dun have the requisite documents...apparently u need a ration card or voter ID to get an HP connection. Anyway, it's been almost six months, since I started this research project...I've made enquiries at FIVE different places...all quite spread apart, geographically. I dun have a vehicle...I've always preferred to walk, n that's what I did during these excursions...walked to all these places to compare prices, QoS, potential red-tape etc etc. But everytime I'd dillydally...on the strength of such stooopid excuses...like I've forgotten to withdraw the money from the ATM, so I'll do it tomorrow n THEN I'm DEFINITELY heading to that gaswalla...or since by the time m back frm office, it's already too late, n it'll be cruel to make that guy lug around that cylinder n stuff to my place...or that I need to look at sm more gas burners...

It was really crazy...n the guilt kept piling up...I mean it was a 10 min task...all I had to do was go n drop the dough in that gaswalla's hands n the rest wld be taken care of in less 15 mins!

But the truth is I also had my doubts as to whether I really needed a gas connection. I'm a minimalist, n I've always travelled light. I eat once a day, n that is in our glorious office mess. So there was no way, I was going to cook except on weekends! And then going out n buying all those ingredients, cooking n doing the dishes...I was wondering if it'd really all be worth it...I mean, it's one to thing to look at celebrity chefs toss in all the ingredients, which r pre-prepared into shiny utensils...n smthng totally different to...
Doubts like these kept me going -- rather not going -- for almost six months!
But I had to get the damn thing...it had become a prestige issue...I had told my landlord 5-6 times abt my plans...so finally I got bugged w/ the whole damn thing n decided the matter once n for all...I actually had to...had started seeing flying cylinders in my dreams for chrissakes!
So day before yesterday, I made sm final enquiries n today I plonked the moolah in that guy's palms...w/ the result that I finally have this huge millstone of guilt off my chest...n it had needlessly become such a TASK! Anyway, the stainless-steely shiny thingy now sits proudly on my kitchen platform.

But there's still lots that needs to be done...I still need to get a cooker, sm pots n pans...I have a few pans actually...n quite a few other things, thanks to a dear friend...god bless her! Or else my first self-cooked meal wld've been even more distant than it already is!

But I'm very happy...I've crossed the biggest hurdle! It's all downhill frm here...or so m hoping!

My first dish is going to be those cup-noodles, where just pouring hot water into it takes care of everything! I'm going to start small...to tell u the truth, I cant be too ambitious now, coz I have none of the ingredients nor half the equipment!

I must get back to my noodles now!

PS: If u have any good quick recipes, pl feel free to share them w/ me. Once I master them, I might even invite u over for dinner...

PPS: The noodles were ok...not too great, but ok. BTW I'm reading Upmanyu Chatterjee's "The Mammaries Of The Welfare State" for the second time -- I really do re-read books! AND enjoy them! Anyway, while reading it, I suddenly remembered that I had bought tea-bags n coffee the first time I had gone shopping after moving here. I remember I was very happy then...I had thought that all I have to do now is just get a gas connection. The reason I'm mentioning this, is because until just now the question of milk or sugar hadnt crossed my mind at all! Seriously! For ALL these months! I wield that Occam's Razor w/ a lil too much finesse, I guess!

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Bat Out Of Hell!

Actually this happened on the night I made the post abt Chikmagalur n I dinno how to weave it into that post...n I wasnt particularly keen on starting another thread. Thing is, I've promised myself that there'll be no more than one post per day...writing (read rambling) is pretty addictive, so I wanna do it in moderation ;-)

Anyhow, the night I'm referring to was pretty dark, stark, chilly n quiet as hell. U see I live alone in this nice quiet penthouse n most of the neighbourhood hits the sack around 10ish. Once the neighbourhood has curled up, it becomes really really quiet...n dark as well...which BTW, I'm not complaining abt in the least bit. I actually love silence n darkness...no, not in any morbid kinda fascination way, but coz u can see n hear things which r drowned out by the usual flood of lights n sounds. U can see for instance, the stars a lot more clearly...hear the night sounds...of insects engaged in their incessant conversations...n if u strain really hard, u can almost see wisps of Zzzzs floating out of all those dark windows!

N u can hear urself breathe! We breathe every moment of our lives, totally oblivious of this life-sustaining activity. N once in a while, when we do become aware of it, it feels so strange n alien...as if that regular rhythm of breath going in n out belongs not to u, but smone else! But it's strangely beautiful...n what's even more beautiful is if that sound actually belongs to smone else...n it's accompanied by the sound a heart beating wildly :)
Ah! 'Tis the most beautiful sound in the world!

But let's not go down that street today...

So till now we've established that the night in question was especially dark, quiet n chilly...n also stark.
I was suddenly awoken by a scraping sound near my pillow. My first thought was that it was sm insect, who'd lost his way. Usually after the rains, all sorts of insects creep into houses...n I'm quite used to them...even large ones! Our campus was nestled practically in the lap of a jungle (n between two lovely lakes), so there wld be all sorts of nocturnal visitors. They're pretty harmless...even the creepy looking ones...if u leave them alone, they're usually gone before dawn.

But the fellow near my bed seemed unusually large...n fiesty too! This large fellow was making rather large sounds. I was feeling too lazy, but at the same time, I was afraid I'd roll over in my sleep n find him all squashed up in the morning. So I dragged myself out of bed n straightaway switched on the light. N there, tucked away behind my pillow was this dark, brown bat! So what I did was I gave my mattress a bit of a tug, thinking that he'd take that as a hint to buzz off my bed! But no...he stayed put...sprawled nicely on my mattress! I thought maybe he'd like sm privacy to make good his escape...I went to the other room n plonked myself near the window. I waited for abt 15 minutes...actually, it was just 5 mins, but they seemed like 15! Anyway, after the above-mentioned interval of time, I open the bedroom door...n what do I see? Mr Batman is nicely curled up on my bed...faaast asleep! A moment ago, he was flying all over the place, but now he was deep in slumber! I was actually kinda feeling bad to wake him up frm his reverie...but then this is not how a young bat, in the prime of his life, is supposed to spend the most productive part of his day...err, night...he's supposed to be out foraging for food! Endeavor to put food on the table!

I then realized that maybe the reason he fell asleep suddenly was because of the light. So I opened my bedroom windows, gave him a bit of a prod, switched off the light, closed the door n went back to my window in the other room. After a few mins when I peeped in, he was, mercifully, gone!

So if u ever have bats gatecrashing ur slumber, the proper procedure to evict him is to open the windows, NOT to switch on the light, close the door n wait at a nice li'l window in the other room.

Needless to say, after this adventure at such an unearthly hour, I was finding it pretty hard to keep my eyes open...even to go for a leak! But I smhow did that n crashed...not in the loo, but on my head!

Slept peacefully...I was afraid I'd dream of bats, but thankfully, there were none of those! :)

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