Moonstruck

This evening's been unusually good.
Woke up after being dulled into sleep by a thought nagging and clawing w/ invisible icy fingers.

But I woke up happy.
And surprised at it.

Felt a bit like finding money in one of the trouser pockets while sorting the laundry.
An unexpected gift.

Must be the rains.
Yes.
Must be.

The sound of raindrops going pitter-patter drumming on the tiny, and sadly plastic, awning.
The raindrops dangling by the washing line.
Making it look like one monstrous necklace.

You remember trying to look
Together
Through those dangling droplets?
A warped, watery world.
Cool
Against your hot breath.
Your happy laughter.
Trying to coax
Your world
And mine
To coalesce into one.
Trying to fuse worlds
With index fingers.
No wonder
Unsuccessfully.

But I'm happy today.
Just heard a train hurtle away
With what seemed like a happy
Hurried whistle.

Ya I like trains.
They're long.
Loud.
And always in a hurry.
Always purposeful.
And always inviting.
Almost saying, Hop-On-We'll-Go-Places.
Whistling.

It's a beautiful evening.
Was unable to decide if I should throw in that tape n listen to 'Aahat Si Koi Aaye Toh Lagta Hai Ki Tum Ho'.
For the millionth time.
Or if I should just keep staring out the window.
Watching the rain
Drop.

But apparently the Karnataka Electricity Board doesnt like ghazals.
Atleast not this evening.
This so very beautiful evening.

I want to ramble about those swaying dancing trees just across my window.
But I wont.
They're swaying too happily.
And that too to an invisible beat.
They're happy.
Happier than me.
In their nice little row.
Swaying almost arm in arm.

I wish we were those trees.
You and me.
Always rooted.
Always together.
I envy them.
Their constant company of each other.

It's almost dark.
There's no stars.
And no moon.
You had said the moon is mine
But that you'll keep the stars
The many yours
Against a solitary mine.

No, wait.
There he is
Beautifully cresent.
In the company of a few of your stars.
Ya I'm happy this evening.
And missing you.

In the company of your stars.

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Crushing Matters

You know that thing abt the first crush...how it's always special and you always, always clutch it close to your heart w/ a fondness, which sometimes literally borders on the insane?

Well last night, I suddenly realized that I had been clutching the wrong one all this while!

An image which has always haunted me since like forever, but one which I had never managed to place, last night, suddenly propped itself firmly under my finger! I'm not sure if it was my thumb or the index finger, but it all suddenly became clear as daylight!

But first, it's only fair that I talk abt my just-dethroned erstwhile First Crush. BTW, tho' it has lost the crown, my fondness for it has not diminished even in the least bit!

Anyway...

I've always believed that my first crush happened during my Jr KG year -- ya I know I started a li'l too early, but wot cld I do...this world is suchhh an enchanting place ;-)

I still remember it warmly n vividly...so much so that I can still feel the crispy wafers crunching aah-so-deliciously in my mouth. Thing is, it was recess and I was sitting under one of the mango trees -- we had two, n mercifully they're both still there -- in the compound of the primary section of our school...w/ the tiffin box -- which BTW, was the sole reason for my even agreeing to go to school! -- perched happily in my lap, being fed crispy wafers and sweet pink strawberry crackers. I was crazy abt those crackers, actually more than the crackers, I loved the soft shiny pink wrappings they came in. They tore so noiselessly and so easily...as if they understood my eagerness to get to those light as light rectangular pieces of sheer delight...n they melted tingling on the tongue...

I still dun understand how I managed to tear my eyes away from those delicious distractions. But then again, it's not that surprising coz wot I saw next has survived in my heart w/ a fondness really bordering on the insane...n one which still refuses to diminish inspite of having been toppled from the top slot...well, atleast chronologically speaking...

Hmmm...wot I saw was a very very pretty woman in a tight black skirt n off-white frilly blouse. She had just walked out of the classroom...straight into my heart! She was the most amazing woman I had ever seen...ok, I agree my life had been barely a few years old, but she really was something. Not just pretty, but she was one of those women who knew how to "maintain" herself. The last time I saw her was when I was in my 9th or 10th std...n even after so many years, she was almost just as pretty n just as shapely as she had been during that beautiful recess many many years ago! :)
Even when I had moved to the secondary section, which was housed in a separate building, I used to make a pilgrimage to her class...no, I wasnt obsessed...it used to be once in a while ;-)

But I must admit that I used to wish very earnestly to get demoted many times over, just so I'd smhow land up, back in that nursery class of hers...so I cld sit on those tiny colorful chairs n watch her endlessly ;-)

Ok now abt that image :)

It's actually frm the very early years of my childhood. I was born in my village -- apparently it's a tradition...atleast on our side to have the first child at the mother's maternal home -- and spent a few years there. I dun remember anything from those years, except for this image.

It was of a very young woman, in a white saree walking by our house. She was fair, which is again a rarity down south, which is where I am frm. She had nice black hair tied back in a bun. Now I know u'll say all the women I seem to get attracted to, all smhow seem to be fair n moreover wearing white. But it's not so. I actually have a thing for dusky complexion! Abt the white saree, I really cldnt do much abt it. She shd've been wearing smthng different...maybe a plain blue saree or smthng brighter, smthng more colorful...bright colors go well on a fair complexion. Maybe this is the reason, that image managed to remain elusive for all these years! Something brighter wld've certainly made a much stronger impression!
Anyway, the woman in question was a distant aunt. Actually in the village, everybody was related to everybody in some way...sometimes in more than one way!

Our village economy revolved around beedi making...atleast for most women...n for even some men! Now beedi-making is quite an involved process and it starts a day in advance. U need to collect the leaves, the tobacco and the string -- we used to get pink colored one...it depended on the brand of beedi...I think the one made in our village was Shivaji Beedi. The leaves would first be soaked in water for a while to make them soft...otherwise they'd be brittle n cldnt be cut into the rectangular strips needed to make the beedis. The delicate pink thread had to wound onto tiny spindles. I used to love this task. The thread wld come in a soft soft bunch n it had to be untangled before it cld be wound onto the spindle. I've ever since been majorly fascinated by disentangling of string. Infact I used to enjoy untangling the 'maanja' more than even flying the kite.

Then there was an assortment of cute li'l specialized instruments for making beedis...scissors, a sort of metal strip which was used as a template for cutting the leaves into the proper shape, a winnowing basket to keep the strips of leaves and tobacco. N there wld be some ash, usually kept in a coconut shell...this was used to keep the fingers dry while rolling the beedis. Somehow that coconut shell would always seem like it's come from a different era...it almost had an archaelogically-significant look abt it.

I sometimes feel that if I had tried doping, I wld've been really adept at rolling joints. But smhow smoking has never appealed to me. Oh ya, there wld also be a small metal rod, a bit like a blunt nail, which wld be used to seal the heads of the beedis. Some women had real fancy ones, nice n smooth n shiny. I remember distincly, being very tempted to steal them ;-)

The women wld gather in groups at smone's house in the morning to cut the beedi leaves into those rectangular shapes. Wot I remember most is the sound of scissors going snip-snip-snip around those metal strips.

It was so rhythmic...almost music!

My mom's house had a nice awning outside, made of branches and leaves. The best part of the awning were the nests. Sparrows wld raise their chicks in them. I remember lying under that awning on a charpai on hot summer afternoons, in the shade, looking w/ absolute wonderment at those li'l birds ceaselessly tirelessly bringing food for those tiny cheeping chicks.

And below the cheeping chicks, the women wld gossip and laugh and crack jokes. Everybody was good at proverbs...there was one for every damn occassion! I used to be absolutely bewildered by the number n utility of those proverbs! It seemed to me that these women came out of the womb already crammed w/ all those proverbs, coz even the li'l girls knew how to use them! I dunno...I used to love hanging out w/ these always-laughing-joking-making-fun women! Maybe that's where my fascination for women began...n it hasnt abated since...au contraire, it has only grown w/ time ;-)

Anyway, it was during one of these leaf-cutting sessions that I saw her come frm the lane which snaked around our house...w/ a small basket on her hips, draped in a nine yard saree, looking very fresh, very delicate n very tender. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell u one important obsession of these women. They loved chewing paan. So this woman, my beautiful distant aunt, also had a paan in her mouth. That red color of the paan on her lips, went very well w/ her fair complexion n her white saree. She looked damn pretty, especially the way she was carrying her li'l basket on her hips. She came n stood clutching her tiny basket on her hips, making small talk w/ the other women n I just cldnt take my eyes off her. There was smthng very sensuous abt her whole demeanour...of course I dinno anything abt sensuousness then...I was too bloody young...
Now that the image has come, I think what I had liked abt her was her youth. And her quiet silent smile among those boisterous cackles of women.

It's a really nice image, not just for this beautiful woman, but also for those simpler pieces of village life...where everybody knew everybody, where everybody was even related to everybody, where everybody was either an uncle or an aunt or a brother or a grandfather...where u cld go to anybody's house n eat a nice hearty meal...just like that...just go n help urself to anything u liked. If the sabzi at ur place wasnt good, u cld go to smone else's...usually wot cooked in the surrounding kitchens was common knowledge, so u cld pick n choose...once the main course had been taken care of, u cld go to yet another house n take a dollop of deliciously spicy mouth-watering pickles...n then move onto yet another house where u cld eat w/ a side dish of the juiciest gossip...or if u were the restless-soul variety, u cld eat strolling like a vagabond...but w/ a plateful of food!

I am very glad this image has come back to me...it's given me a bite of a slice of life long-gone...a life which will never come back...but one I'll always treasure...

I can still hear those chattering women...n that young woman w/ red lips, n a li'l basket held delicately on her hips...n I cant help but smile :)

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Petal Promises...

It had 14 petals...one more or one less and I cld've stolen you from fate...

Dangling by the Queen's Necklace, I sat staring at the beautiful crimson massacre at my feet...trying desperately to coax a "Yes" from a phantom petal...

My fears crashing with the waves...on the tetrapods...

I didnt believe in petal promises then...I dont believe in them now...but one more or one less...
Just in case...

I didnt hear you tip-toe upto me...
I still dont know how long you stood there watching me trying to cajole those petals...

"No-silly-boy-I-dont-love-you" and a smiling voice...

I looked up to see you staring through those mischievously big black eyes...from behind those naughty strands of hair playing with the sea-breeze...which you never tired of pulling behind your ears...

Your head nodded a happy "No-I-really-really-dont"...
N those long dancing earrings agreed in unison...

I stood transfixed...with that stupid lump in my throat...wishing I cld grab you in my arms...n run over those tetrapods...across the sea...far far away...

Your hand waved me back from my reverie...n I stupidly thrust forward the long-stemmed-by-now-bald rose...

Realization dawned n I wanted to run away again...over those same tetrapods, into that same sea...this time, alone...to hide under my mountain of mortification...

But an extended ivory arm took that mockery of a rose...

Come-walk-with-me...

N I did...

Stealing furtive glances...n knowing...

I miss the way u held that bald rose...n locked your little finger in mine...

I miss You...your silent smiling understanding...

I miss being in love...
...when Forevers came naturally...
...and Believably...

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Sunbeam In A Tiny Pinafore...

Now I know I'm way past the stage in life where one cld change one's ambitions w/ every new issue of the comic book, but a feeling somewhat similar came over me the other day. I was walking down the road, on my way to the office n I wanted to trade my profession for another. No, I'm very happy w/ my work, but I saw smthng which made me wish if only I cld.

I was on the footpath, when suddenly a school bus came n stopped a li'l distance frm me. N running...actually dancing, hopping happily towards the bus was this li'l girl...arms flailing joyously...the pigtail bobbing up n down, just as happily...a water bottle around her tiny li'l neck...in a pinafore so tiny that it cldnt've been anything but cute!! For a moment, I thought she was running to me n I almost stooped down to scoop her up into my arms...but she ran instead into the waiting welcoming arms of the school bus conductor...now m not sure if this is the right designation for his job profile, but for want of a better word, we'll use this one. Anyway, I felt this guy has prolly the most satisfying of jobs. There was a bustling busload of very bubbly -- n apparently very naughty -- li'l girls...n m sure each one of them must've run to him just as eagerly n just as happily...

N he seemed genuinely happy w/ wot he did for a living...it was written all over his face...in that big broad smile w/ which he greeted those bundles of joy.

At one point in life, I wanted to be a nursery school teacher. I've always adored those cute li'l colorful chairs n tables, w/ tiny feet dangling mid-air...those books w/ scrawls struggling to be letters of an elusive alphabet...water-bottles huddled in a corner, or peeping out of a window...lunch boxes filled w/ delicious bribes...compass boxes w/ rowwwwss of brightly colored pencils, innocently disproportionate to the writing they'll never do...but just to be traded or flaunted...those toothless grins...those conspiratorial wide-eyed secrets whispered into tingling cupped ears...those make-believe worlds where u cld be a doctor or a pilot, just by saying u r one...

I so wish I really were a part of that beautiful magical world, where I cld say 'I'm-a-school-bus-conductor' n I wld be...

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Those Raindrops Keep Fallin' In My Head...

Since the past week or so, all calls/msgs frm my friends in Bombay have invariably been interspered w/ phrases like "it's been pouring non-stop for the past n days" "it's raining like crazy", "it's raining cats n dogs"...leaving me all green w/ envy! I miss those crazy unforgiving Bombay rains! Now Bangalore weather is all fine...it's cool comfortable n pleasant. But I miss the madness...the sheer downpour...the deafening din of rain lashing against windows, walls, trees...patiently...incessantly.

I esp miss the beach...it was so teasingly close...just a 5 min walk frm my place. N during heavy rains, I'd sometimes walk upto it n watch the sea raging, tossing n turning in all its glorious fury. But I must admit it's a scary sight. Usually the sea is very inviting...even when she sends huge waves at u. But during the monsoon, she's a totally different creature...all grey, opaque, choppy...foaming! But it'd somehow still be beautiful...a bit like staring at a snarling tigress! Lethally beautiful!

The best part wld be the crazy wind...so totally out of its mind! On which the rain wld hitch a ride n come lashing crashing onto ur face...ur back...it wld literally bite n u cld feel those teeth digging into u. But weirdly enough, it left u smiling...stupidly, at those furious clawing raindrops...n the sea, raging beyond! Sometimes when I'd feel braver -- read foolish -- than usual, I'd go stand right at the mouth of this storm-water drain, which emptied into the sea...n be confronted w/ this tantalizing spray frm the waves crashing onto those black boulders. One cldnt help wishing to magically metamorphose into a sea-gull...cackling away w/ pleasure...teasing even more, the irate sea goddess...

Bollywood has a weird fascination for the rains -- n for some very obvious reasons, of which I wont bore u w/. The result being that most things associated w/ that heavenly downpour have been cliched to death...none more so than walking on Marine Drive, hand in hand w/ gigantic waves crashing over u. Be that as it may, it certainly feels wonderful...sitting there on the wall...clothes clinging to ur soaking skin...rivulets of rain running down ur face...ur lips...the tongue involuntarily making a grab at raindrops...u sit there, watching raindrops on ivory arms...shivering slightly, u instinctively tend to huddle closer...n can literally feel the heat flowing wherever the bodies touch...it's such a delicious feeling...so very sensuous. N yet watching that gigantic sea roaring in front of u kinda makes u feel very vulnerable n fragile...as if it cld wreck everything...bringing it all down in a single...decisive...crash...

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A Gossamer Evening...

Twilight...one of those days when everything around u is swathed in an orange hue...as if a naughty boy w/ a bucketful of watery color has run around town...w/ a mammoth brush...n water-colored orange, everything n everyone in sight...

A cool breeze in the window...the coconut palms swaying...singing...lazily...

Lying on a cool smooth stony flooring...on the stomach...chin on palms...eyes following a pair of beautifully chiselled feet...anklet-laden...delicate silver slivers...clutching contentedly at those smooth soft ankles...disdainfully oblivious of that pair of envious pursuing eyes...

The feet walk delicately...as if afraid to not trample even their reflection on that smooth surface...it's sheer pleasure just following them around...wishing u cld do it forever...just gazing at those feet...walking up n down...up n down...all around...all over...playfully, even over u...giving 'trampled underneath' a whole new delicious meaning...suddenly, they stop in front of my face...those smiling pretty feet...a honeyed muffled voice...as if thru a haze..."Come-on-get-up-the-movie-starts-in-half-an-hour" ...but a finger's busy writing on those feet...the words, I-Love-You-Forever-N-Ever-N-Ever-N-Ever...soft hands ruffle my hair...I turn around...onto my back...n gaze up, to a milky white chudidaar...w/ tiiinyy light green floral prints...arms akimbo...big black eyes...playfully stern...staring...smooth silky luscious black hair trying desperately to hide a pair of dangling pearl earrings...n the face wearing a mock exasperated expression...mouthing the words, You-Are-Maddddd...trying hard to suppress a smile...but equally happy to give up...n break into a radiant smile...

34 dazzling pearls...

Suddenly milky white chudidaar kneels down...

Two tickets torn eagerly...being engulfed in a black silken smoothness...an explosion of perfume, hot fragrant breath...two sofffttt lips...n then blissfully melting, falling falling falling down a spiral...praying it's forever!

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Of Rain-soaked Songs...

Having grown up in Bombay, I've always loved walking in the rain...well, actually the unrelenting Bombay rains dun leave u w/ much of a choice than to walk in the rain...smtimes, it'd even conspire w/ the drainage system to turn the whole city into one large swirling mass of raging water...n then there'd be times when the transport system wld pitch in too...so if u had a home to go back to, u had to walk...even if it meant walking all the way frm Churchgate to Bandra! Yes, I've actually seen ppl doing that...there'd be this huge swarming soaking-wet mass of mankind inching slowly frm the "townside" to the "suburbs"...it's at such times that the spirit of the city really shone thru...there'd be ppl distributing tea snacks water...

I miss that place...

But I'll stroll down Nostalgia Streets of Bombay in another post :)

This is abt a beaaauuutiful evening frm a few days back...yes it was raining...n there was thunder n lightning too! But not at all frightening! Au contraire, it was just perfect...n since I cld see a lot of sky, it made it all the more dramatic...a bit like those cliched scenes in Hindi movies...the crack of lightning followed by a clap of thunder...but this evening was picture-perfect...

I cldnt catch the thunder all that well, coz I had these hauntingly beautiful voices crooning inside my head...now this might sound unromantic, but I had the headphones to my cell strapped onto my ears...I wish it was live or atleast frm a dashing pair of Cadence Arca speakers...but I wont nitpick :)

Thing is I was listening to sm really good songs...the mood was just right...n the weather almost tailor-made...
I love songs w/ poetry...feelings...w/ lyrics which not only try to convey deep emotions, but also do it thru gorgeous words. One of my favorite lyricists is Gulzar. Love his metaphors...n his songs r so unhurried...n so very earthy...his combination w/ Pancham n Asha is just amazing...the song that immediately springs to mind is Mera Kuch Saman frm Ijazat...one needs to listen to such songs on a rainy evening...preferably at arnd twilight...switch off all the lights...n listen to the songs as the evening light slowly fades into the night...

I was sitting there for hours n suddenly this thought crossed my mind...actually it's crossed my mind many times before n I know it -- fortunately -- will many more times. Thing is while listening to ghazals...or smthng similar, I invariably wish I were really a king! No, I'm not hungry for power, nor do I harbour any ambitions to rule the world...but only a king cld've had a courtful of these brilliant musicians. In a way m glad I'm not one, coz I'd've made a lousy king...the only things on my mind wld've been wine, song n women! ;-)

Anyway...

I was looking out my window, at the rain drop w/ this beautiful melody -- of course that was the music playing in my head(phones) -- but it kinda felt like it was falling in beat w/ the song. N the effect was just awesome...I cldnt help wishing I had a shamiana laid out on my terrace w/ these musicians performing just for me. I know it's too self-indulgent, but I just cldnt help wishing for it. Live music has a totally different feel to it. I've never been to any light-music concert...just rock concerts n classical music/dance ones...n they've just been electrifying. U can listen to them till the wee hours of the morning...n still keep wanting more!

So it's not very difficult to imagine what accomplished artists like Iqbal Bano, Farida Khanum, Mehdi Hasan, Jagjit Singh, Mallika Pukhraj, Abida Parveen...cld do...they wld no doubt have set the night on fire...

But unfortunately, the songs in my cell werent of these artists. They're there on my desktop...but what I did have wasnt bad at all. There was Lata crooning Sili Hawa Choo Gayi, Khamosh Sa Afsana...Asha singing Khaali Haath Shaam Ayi Hai, Mera Kuch Saaman, In Aankhon Ki Masti Mein...Suresh Wadkar, Seene Mein Jalan...Talat Aziz, Zindagi Jab Bhi ...Jagjit, Tumko Dekha Toh Yeh Khayal Aya, Tum Itna Jo Muskura Rahe Ho...I dun want to list all of them, but they were all of a similar mood...

It was an amazing evening...n I felt glad to feel weird enough to actually switch off all the lights n sit out at the window w/ nothing but the misty spray frm the rain on my face n that hauntingly melodious music in my ears...staring into the night sky n seeing a shamiana...ghungroos dancing w/ the raindrops...the swirl of a glittering skirt...n the occassional lightning n thunder...it was as if even the heavens were applauding the performances...

Zindagi Jab Bhi Teri Bazm Mein Laati Hai Humein
Yeh Zameen Chaand Se Behtar Nazar Aati Hai Humein

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Yay! Red Letter Day!

Today definitely qualifies as a red-letter day...a bright-crimson-red red letter day...hell, make that neon-glowing red letter day! I know I prolly sound like m going overboard, but I really really am happy! Err...well, not exactly happy, but very definitely relieved! Ever since I moved frm Aamchi Mumbai to this valley of Silicon, the thing right at the top of my to-do list, was to get me a gas connection! N it ranked even above getting a bloody house to stay in!

Thing is, I used to dig those cookery shows on Travel & Living...n have always wanted to cook! I'd watch them the way bored housewives glue themselves to those atrocious saas-bahu serials during the afty! I wasnt bored or anything...just that I love the colors n textures of those freshly cleaned bright beautiful vegetables. My personal favorite was the one called "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations", followed closely by "Kylie Kwong Simply Magic". BTW whenever I'd watch these shows, I'd be reminded of that scene frm Monsoon Wedding, where Naseer's kid, who -- the kid, n not Naseer -- is shown to be very effeminate, in reply to his query as to what he wants to do when he grows up, cheekily tells him that he wants become a "khansama"...a chef! I harbour no such ambitions...n my wrist action is pretty firm ;-)

One of the reasons I like Bourdain, is coz he's partial to street food, which goes very well w/ urs truly too! N besides that, he also "writes" well...he'd string together descriptions of delicious food w/ rants, philosophy n lovely phrases. I wld smday love to go travelling around south-east asia savoring their street food. Armed, of course, w/ a camera!

I really must start saving! How I'm gonna do that, I have no clue whatsoever! After paying the installment on my home-loan, credit card bills, phone bill, rent, mine is pretty much a hand-to-mouth existence!

I so wanna go cry right now! :(

Wow! I started out this post in a rather upbeat mood...n here I was abt to spill my tears into a chipped coffee-cup! I'm prone to mood-swings! Almost everybody who's been w/ me has had this complaint at the top of the list...

But I'm digressing!

As I mentioned earlier the thing that was at the top on my to-do list after moving here was to get a gas connection, but I never really got around to doing it! I must've told everybody I knew abt my plans to get a gas connection SOON...tomorrow...next weekend...definitely tomorrow! I've bugged quite a few ppl abt info...as in which service is better...Jyothi, Elf, HP. Now HP was immediately out of the question...I dun have the requisite documents...apparently u need a ration card or voter ID to get an HP connection. Anyway, it's been almost six months, since I started this research project...I've made enquiries at FIVE different places...all quite spread apart, geographically. I dun have a vehicle...I've always preferred to walk, n that's what I did during these excursions...walked to all these places to compare prices, QoS, potential red-tape etc etc. But everytime I'd dillydally...on the strength of such stooopid excuses...like I've forgotten to withdraw the money from the ATM, so I'll do it tomorrow n THEN I'm DEFINITELY heading to that gaswalla...or since by the time m back frm office, it's already too late, n it'll be cruel to make that guy lug around that cylinder n stuff to my place...or that I need to look at sm more gas burners...

It was really crazy...n the guilt kept piling up...I mean it was a 10 min task...all I had to do was go n drop the dough in that gaswalla's hands n the rest wld be taken care of in less 15 mins!

But the truth is I also had my doubts as to whether I really needed a gas connection. I'm a minimalist, n I've always travelled light. I eat once a day, n that is in our glorious office mess. So there was no way, I was going to cook except on weekends! And then going out n buying all those ingredients, cooking n doing the dishes...I was wondering if it'd really all be worth it...I mean, it's one to thing to look at celebrity chefs toss in all the ingredients, which r pre-prepared into shiny utensils...n smthng totally different to...
Doubts like these kept me going -- rather not going -- for almost six months!
But I had to get the damn thing...it had become a prestige issue...I had told my landlord 5-6 times abt my plans...so finally I got bugged w/ the whole damn thing n decided the matter once n for all...I actually had to...had started seeing flying cylinders in my dreams for chrissakes!
So day before yesterday, I made sm final enquiries n today I plonked the moolah in that guy's palms...w/ the result that I finally have this huge millstone of guilt off my chest...n it had needlessly become such a TASK! Anyway, the stainless-steely shiny thingy now sits proudly on my kitchen platform.

But there's still lots that needs to be done...I still need to get a cooker, sm pots n pans...I have a few pans actually...n quite a few other things, thanks to a dear friend...god bless her! Or else my first self-cooked meal wld've been even more distant than it already is!

But I'm very happy...I've crossed the biggest hurdle! It's all downhill frm here...or so m hoping!

My first dish is going to be those cup-noodles, where just pouring hot water into it takes care of everything! I'm going to start small...to tell u the truth, I cant be too ambitious now, coz I have none of the ingredients nor half the equipment!

I must get back to my noodles now!

PS: If u have any good quick recipes, pl feel free to share them w/ me. Once I master them, I might even invite u over for dinner...

PPS: The noodles were ok...not too great, but ok. BTW I'm reading Upmanyu Chatterjee's "The Mammaries Of The Welfare State" for the second time -- I really do re-read books! AND enjoy them! Anyway, while reading it, I suddenly remembered that I had bought tea-bags n coffee the first time I had gone shopping after moving here. I remember I was very happy then...I had thought that all I have to do now is just get a gas connection. The reason I'm mentioning this, is because until just now the question of milk or sugar hadnt crossed my mind at all! Seriously! For ALL these months! I wield that Occam's Razor w/ a lil too much finesse, I guess!

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Bat Out Of Hell!

Actually this happened on the night I made the post abt Chikmagalur n I dinno how to weave it into that post...n I wasnt particularly keen on starting another thread. Thing is, I've promised myself that there'll be no more than one post per day...writing (read rambling) is pretty addictive, so I wanna do it in moderation ;-)

Anyhow, the night I'm referring to was pretty dark, stark, chilly n quiet as hell. U see I live alone in this nice quiet penthouse n most of the neighbourhood hits the sack around 10ish. Once the neighbourhood has curled up, it becomes really really quiet...n dark as well...which BTW, I'm not complaining abt in the least bit. I actually love silence n darkness...no, not in any morbid kinda fascination way, but coz u can see n hear things which r drowned out by the usual flood of lights n sounds. U can see for instance, the stars a lot more clearly...hear the night sounds...of insects engaged in their incessant conversations...n if u strain really hard, u can almost see wisps of Zzzzs floating out of all those dark windows!

N u can hear urself breathe! We breathe every moment of our lives, totally oblivious of this life-sustaining activity. N once in a while, when we do become aware of it, it feels so strange n alien...as if that regular rhythm of breath going in n out belongs not to u, but smone else! But it's strangely beautiful...n what's even more beautiful is if that sound actually belongs to smone else...n it's accompanied by the sound a heart beating wildly :)
Ah! 'Tis the most beautiful sound in the world!

But let's not go down that street today...

So till now we've established that the night in question was especially dark, quiet n chilly...n also stark.
I was suddenly awoken by a scraping sound near my pillow. My first thought was that it was sm insect, who'd lost his way. Usually after the rains, all sorts of insects creep into houses...n I'm quite used to them...even large ones! Our campus was nestled practically in the lap of a jungle (n between two lovely lakes), so there wld be all sorts of nocturnal visitors. They're pretty harmless...even the creepy looking ones...if u leave them alone, they're usually gone before dawn.

But the fellow near my bed seemed unusually large...n fiesty too! This large fellow was making rather large sounds. I was feeling too lazy, but at the same time, I was afraid I'd roll over in my sleep n find him all squashed up in the morning. So I dragged myself out of bed n straightaway switched on the light. N there, tucked away behind my pillow was this dark, brown bat! So what I did was I gave my mattress a bit of a tug, thinking that he'd take that as a hint to buzz off my bed! But no...he stayed put...sprawled nicely on my mattress! I thought maybe he'd like sm privacy to make good his escape...I went to the other room n plonked myself near the window. I waited for abt 15 minutes...actually, it was just 5 mins, but they seemed like 15! Anyway, after the above-mentioned interval of time, I open the bedroom door...n what do I see? Mr Batman is nicely curled up on my bed...faaast asleep! A moment ago, he was flying all over the place, but now he was deep in slumber! I was actually kinda feeling bad to wake him up frm his reverie...but then this is not how a young bat, in the prime of his life, is supposed to spend the most productive part of his day...err, night...he's supposed to be out foraging for food! Endeavor to put food on the table!

I then realized that maybe the reason he fell asleep suddenly was because of the light. So I opened my bedroom windows, gave him a bit of a prod, switched off the light, closed the door n went back to my window in the other room. After a few mins when I peeped in, he was, mercifully, gone!

So if u ever have bats gatecrashing ur slumber, the proper procedure to evict him is to open the windows, NOT to switch on the light, close the door n wait at a nice li'l window in the other room.

Needless to say, after this adventure at such an unearthly hour, I was finding it pretty hard to keep my eyes open...even to go for a leak! But I smhow did that n crashed...not in the loo, but on my head!

Slept peacefully...I was afraid I'd dream of bats, but thankfully, there were none of those! :)

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Chikmagalur...Natural Beauty...Sans Chicks!

I see that my last post was 7 days ago...n that is surely not how one goes abt maintaining a blog...moreso a new one...even moreso when one claims to enjoy writing so so so much...
Well truth is, I've kinda been busy decorating around here...finally got me a profile w/ amazingly long lists...n then there's that daily grind...pursuit of bread n butter...
BTW, Discipline is not exactly my middle name...love of writing notwithstanding...

Anyway, the reason I'm here right now is to write abt a trip me n my friends took last weekend -- no, wait that was last to last weekend -- to Chikmagalur. Actually that's what triggered this whole idea of putting up a blog, so I owe it...to write abt it. Moreover I've been terribly guilty abt this whole feet-dragging over the past coupla weeks...my conscience is hyper-active just like me...

But as they say, better late than never...

Before I launch into my trip ;-) I must confess that my posts are mostly semi-spontaneous -- I mentioned in my previous post that I dun own a compy, so what I do is write everything down neatly, longhand. Actually, neatly is a total misnomer here...I've always known that my handwriting was bad, but I never knew it was so awfully crabbed! I actually had to spend hours deciphering this mess, before hammering it out on the keyboard.

There's one more clarification...the title of this post...
I thought it my moral obligation to make things clear right at the very outset, lest smone get the wrong idea...I mean one wld be tempted to look at the name, n rush to book the tickets...there aint no chicks in Chikmagalur...so relax n read this post...
Of course buying those tickets wont be disappointing in any way whatsoever...there's tons of beauty around, but it doesnt walk on two legs ;-)

So back to the trip...
We started off Friday evening...intending to spend the whole of Saturday & Sunday covering the...
Well, the trip was laid out pretty neatly n efficiently before we left...day one wld consist of going to this waterfall called Doda Hebba, Z-point n surrounding areas...Sunday, Baba Bundangiri, Mulyangiri, and time permitting, the temples at Belur. Well, lucky as we were, time did permit n we managed to catch those amazing temples at Belur.

Prior arrangements had been made -- n very efficiently too -- by our team members. Tempo traveller was arranged for...acco taken care of in a lodge. Initially a lot more ppl had signed up for this trip, so we were planning to book two rather luxurious Innovas, but at the very last minute, a few guys bailed out. So we had to book a Tempo traveller instead. Needless to say we lost our advance. But I must mention that inspite of this, we ended up saving quite a bit of dough...
But still, in case any of you r planning to plan a trip, make sure nobody opts out at the last moment...even if they do, atleast their share of the moolah doesnt!
We're all human...we live n learn...atleast smtimes ;-)

So the night drive went peacefully...we had planned to see a few movies, but the damn DVD player bailed out on us...it wldnt play any DVDs! It did relent by playing a VCD, but the movie wasnt too interesting...so everybody decided to do the next obvious thing instead...which was to crash! I woke up sometime during the night...at around 2 or so...I sleep very little when I'm travelling...
Anyway, when I woke I found the TT nicely parked in sm small town, w/ the driver fast asleep at the wheels! I was pretty shaken...but when it all sank in, I was glad he was sleeping at the wheel while not driving the damn thing!

The result was we reached a little late...according to our original calculations, we were aiming at around 6-6:30 in the morning, but we cld reach the hotel only at around 8ish!

We took a short break...freshened up n took to the hills at around 9. It was just amazinggg...I mean those majestic mist-laden mountains rolling out ahead of us...beckoning us w/ green open arms! That's the great thing abt natural beauty...it hits you straight in the heart...I was at once going thru the usual feelings of divinity, lucky-to-be-alive routine. No I'm not trying to belittle the experience. It really was an amazing sight...those lush green mountains laid out in front of u like a beautifully soft green velvet...
I dun blv in God, but its times like these, which is the closest I've felt to spirituality...

The drive up the mountains was quite long...took abt 2-3 hours...but it was worth every minute of it...the journey too! We were snapping up the scenery...both metaphorically n literally! But sadly a lot of the pictures turned out to be just junk! Mother Nature's not to blame here...the fault lies entirely in our lap...n on our ability to handle the equipment! Luckily, we clicked a lotttttt of pics...n by the law of averages, quite a decent number of them turned out good.
What you click is not what you get!
Another lesson learned!!

The TT wldnt go beyond a pt, so we had to trek the rest of the way...which was a wonderful experience in itself...mountains, cliff covered w/ greeen greeen trees, even at the height of summer...
Looking arnd, on more than one occasion, I felt like tossing away my ID, backpack, career n all over one of the cliff...grab a few sturdy branches n lots of twigs to build a nice little shack...n live like a hermit, far away frm that maddeningly ugly jungle we spend our lives in!

Back to the trip...
We were to rendezvous at this supposedly very beautiful waterfall...which BTW did not disappoint us in the least bit. We were disappointed abt one thing tho'.
Leeches.
We had come armed to the teeth, thinking we'd be engaging in sm very close quarter combat. But none of those slimy worms turned up.
The result being, we're left w/ a stupidly large stash of dettol bottles...
But there's plenty of time...m sure all this ammo wont go waste...there r lots more treks n lots more leeches to run into...

The waterfall was amazing...just sheer bliss...n very very slippery...

U know what...this post's becoming terribly long...n I'm not even thru w/ describing the pre-noon session of the first day! N there's still too too much left to say...frankly, I'm enjoying writing abt it...if I cld help it, I'd love to ramble on...wax eloquent abt everything we saw n did. But I dun blv a lot of ppl wld have the patience to wade thru this already mammoth post.

Whatshisname once famously said -- a picture is worth a thousand words.
So what I'll do is I'll let those damn pics speak for themselves. Before that I'd like to apologize for the quality of those images...green-horns that we still r...n sm of them were snapped on a pathetic 2MP cellphone camera!

N oh BTW...if you require any info abt going abt arranging a trip to Chikmagalur, in terms of travel/acco info, do drop me line. I'll be glad to be of any help I can...

U can find the pix here
Intend to put a lot more of them, but will do that gradually...net's damn slow at my end these days...

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A bit...abt me...

I'm terribly tempted to paint a very rosy picture of me, but I'll resist that temptation...
So this is gonna be lots of shades of grey...n a few splotches of black n white...meaning, moi's just a pretty ordinary guy...w/ more than his own faults n frailties...but mercifully a few redeeming qualities too...which is y I look forward to getting up every morning...at 4:45...on the dot!
Yeah...I'm an early riser...picked up this atrocious habit when I'd go jogging around the beautiful Powai lake during my student days at IITB...n then near my home at Shivaji Park. No, I'm not a fitness freak...I've been blessed w/ genes which atleast till now havent let me put on weight...I used to jog because the mornings around the mist-laden Powai lake were just too breathtakingly beautiful...n the feeling of hearing ur thoughts bounce up n down in ur head...in step w/ ur step is an amazing feeling...the lush greenery...the twittering birds...the milky white egrets -- or were they herons? -- against the lush green velvetty grass...

U cld almost see the world slowly waking up...see her open her eyes...n rub them lazily...look out the window n...smile at herself...

Sigh! I really miss that place...n those days!

Sadly since I've moved to Bangalore, I havent been able to find a good enough place nearby...to go jogging...so these days I have to make do w/ running on a boring roaring treadmill in my office...who very clinically keeps track of far I've run...at what speed...the number of calories expended...n at the same time, keeps a tight watch on my heart-beat!
Must admit he's a very efficient fella! :)

As you've very shrewdly guessed, I'm absolutely nuts abt Mother Nature n her beauteous bounty!

Tho' I'm an engineer by training n profession, my heart has always been in Art!

Not that I dun love my job...I do, but it's not smthng which moves me...that's the job of paintings, theater, literature, classical dance n music, poetry, movies, documentaries, ad films, sculpture...in short...anything creative. I'm not a connoisseur...of any of these things I mentioned...or of anything else for that matter...actually I've consciously avoided gaining too much knowledge...I prefer to let my "heart"...n feelings dictate my opinion of the beauty in those creative objects/forms...rather than getting bogged down in unnecessary technical details...sm ppl go to the extent of dissecting each brush-stroke or note or movement...
I prefer to appreciate things frm a layman's perspective...

Hmm...I also love to read...n might I add I do it very voraciously! One decision of mine of which I'm particularly proud of..is not buying a telly or a compy for my house here in Bangalore. It gives me oodles of time to spend w/ sm amazing books...it's such a joy to lose oneself in those pages...swinging merrily frm one enchanting phrase to another...n every swing kindles such an explosion of visual imagery in ur head...n the amazing thing is it's different for each invdividual...there's a lot more I can say abt books, but I'll make that into a separate post...I can already see this one gaining girth all around...n all I've managed to cover by now has been Ma'm Nature...
But I must list down my favorite authors...this is no particular order...
Upmanyu Chatterjee, Salman Rushdie, Vikram Chandra, Vijay Tendulkar, Mohsin Hamid, Kiran Nagarkar, Amit Chaudhuri, Wodehouse, Tolstoy, Thomas Hardy, Joe Orton, GB Shaw, Anita Desai, Arundhati Roy, Graham Greene, Joseph Heller, JD Salinger, Harper Lee, Hunter Thompson, Truman Capote, PL (Pula) Deshpande, Dorothy Parker, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Amitav Ghosh, Jhumpa Lahiri, Vikram Seth (for his peoms)...
I'm pretty sure I've left out quite a few names...I have a terribly lousy memory...but it's a blessing in disguise when it comes to reading books...I mean I can re-read books w/ the same fervour as if I were reading it for the first time...n enjoy them just as much...

BTW I also love archaeology...I know this is totally out of the blue n not at all in keeping w/ the flow of this post...I mean how often does one hear smone listing archaeology as one of the interests...
Just to clarify...this interest is totally "spectatorial"...I'm really not sure if this word even exists, but you get the message right? I mean I dun go around armed w/ a pick-axe n shovel wrecking ppl's floors!
J/K! I know that's not how they operate :)
Anyway...
Thing is I've always been fascinated by old buildings...esp ruins...the older they r, the more they fascinate me. I get a huge kick imagining how that place must've been when ppl actually lived there...it's like a time-capsule...to which you can travel to...n catch a glimpse of life as it was lived...tens, hundreds or even thousands of years ago...it's just fantastically fascinating!
I've often wondered y smthng like this shd fascinate me so much...I mean, life must've been pretty much the same then as it is now for me...plus or minus some creature comforts...levels of sophistication...civilisationally...
What I'm driving at is this...imagine an archaeologist finding my house say a few hundred years frm now...it's quite possible that he shares my fascination w/ archaelogy...he too might get a huge kick imagining how I must've lived...yet I know there's nothing too fascinating abt my life...or anybody's for that matter...
I dunno it's prolly the thrill of sort-of travelling back in time n witnessing smthng frm a perspective frm a different space n time...be it smthng as mundane as watching smone cooking in an ancient kitchen!
I dunno...I just find it fascinating...I wont nitpick...I'll just enjoy the aroma wafting thru that ancient kitchen! ;-)

I'm also crazy abt movies...well, not any which movie...I prefer watching what I like to call sensible movies...movies w/ substance. I dun mean to say the other varities of movies r not nice...they're just not what wld appeal to me...
I'm a big fan of the so-called parallel cinema...esp the NFDC commissioned sort...the names that immediately spring to mind r Shyam Benegal, Mrinal Sen, Goutam Ghosh, Sai Paranje, Vijaya Mehta, Ketan Mehta, Jabbar Patel, Kundan Shah, Govind Nihalini, Mani Kaul, Adoor Gopalakrishnan...n of course Satyajit Ray...this name shd've been right at the top of the list, but I'm feeling too lazy to edit stuff...
I love movies which explore human emotions...esp the ones based on man-woman relationships...n here I'm talking abt realistic ones..not the loud, larger than life, "kutte-kamine-main-tera-khoon-pee-jaunga"/"maa-ki-doodh-ki-kasam-
main-us-darinde-ko-zinda-nahi-chhodunga" sort...u get the drift right? As I mentioned earlier, I dun mean to say that masala movies r not good...some of them r very entertaining...but they dun make you think...abt life...n its complexities...
Well one might ask y spend hard-earned money n even more precious time sitting in a theater...pondering over life's complexities when ur own life is practically teeming w/ complexities of every sort...
It's hard to explain...my motive in watching movies goes beyond just entertainment...
Anyway, to each his own...

Oops!! This post has become a monstrosity!!

See, this is a problem w/ me -- among many others! -- I tend to go off on tangents...n if that's not worse, I keep hopping from one to the other...

But before I go, I'd just like to say that there's really no rhyme or reason to this blog...it's just a place I can bounce my thoughts against...I really cant give any guarantees abt the toxic levels of the swill I will be churning out here...so if you intend to hang abt this place, atleast come armed w/ a gas-mask ;-)

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