Moonstruck

This evening's been unusually good.
Woke up after being dulled into sleep by a thought nagging and clawing w/ invisible icy fingers.

But I woke up happy.
And surprised at it.

Felt a bit like finding money in one of the trouser pockets while sorting the laundry.
An unexpected gift.

Must be the rains.
Yes.
Must be.

The sound of raindrops going pitter-patter drumming on the tiny, and sadly plastic, awning.
The raindrops dangling by the washing line.
Making it look like one monstrous necklace.

You remember trying to look
Together
Through those dangling droplets?
A warped, watery world.
Cool
Against your hot breath.
Your happy laughter.
Trying to coax
Your world
And mine
To coalesce into one.
Trying to fuse worlds
With index fingers.
No wonder
Unsuccessfully.

But I'm happy today.
Just heard a train hurtle away
With what seemed like a happy
Hurried whistle.

Ya I like trains.
They're long.
Loud.
And always in a hurry.
Always purposeful.
And always inviting.
Almost saying, Hop-On-We'll-Go-Places.
Whistling.

It's a beautiful evening.
Was unable to decide if I should throw in that tape n listen to 'Aahat Si Koi Aaye Toh Lagta Hai Ki Tum Ho'.
For the millionth time.
Or if I should just keep staring out the window.
Watching the rain
Drop.

But apparently the Karnataka Electricity Board doesnt like ghazals.
Atleast not this evening.
This so very beautiful evening.

I want to ramble about those swaying dancing trees just across my window.
But I wont.
They're swaying too happily.
And that too to an invisible beat.
They're happy.
Happier than me.
In their nice little row.
Swaying almost arm in arm.

I wish we were those trees.
You and me.
Always rooted.
Always together.
I envy them.
Their constant company of each other.

It's almost dark.
There's no stars.
And no moon.
You had said the moon is mine
But that you'll keep the stars
The many yours
Against a solitary mine.

No, wait.
There he is
Beautifully cresent.
In the company of a few of your stars.
Ya I'm happy this evening.
And missing you.

In the company of your stars.

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Petal Promises...

It had 14 petals...one more or one less and I cld've stolen you from fate...

Dangling by the Queen's Necklace, I sat staring at the beautiful crimson massacre at my feet...trying desperately to coax a "Yes" from a phantom petal...

My fears crashing with the waves...on the tetrapods...

I didnt believe in petal promises then...I dont believe in them now...but one more or one less...
Just in case...

I didnt hear you tip-toe upto me...
I still dont know how long you stood there watching me trying to cajole those petals...

"No-silly-boy-I-dont-love-you" and a smiling voice...

I looked up to see you staring through those mischievously big black eyes...from behind those naughty strands of hair playing with the sea-breeze...which you never tired of pulling behind your ears...

Your head nodded a happy "No-I-really-really-dont"...
N those long dancing earrings agreed in unison...

I stood transfixed...with that stupid lump in my throat...wishing I cld grab you in my arms...n run over those tetrapods...across the sea...far far away...

Your hand waved me back from my reverie...n I stupidly thrust forward the long-stemmed-by-now-bald rose...

Realization dawned n I wanted to run away again...over those same tetrapods, into that same sea...this time, alone...to hide under my mountain of mortification...

But an extended ivory arm took that mockery of a rose...

Come-walk-with-me...

N I did...

Stealing furtive glances...n knowing...

I miss the way u held that bald rose...n locked your little finger in mine...

I miss You...your silent smiling understanding...

I miss being in love...
...when Forevers came naturally...
...and Believably...

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