Koyaliya Mat Kar Pukar

Today pretty much blew.
Mostly for trivial reasons.
And one nontrivial one.
Which I, of course, dont remember.
Or rather choose not to.

What I do remember is a wonderful feeling.
From a long long time ago.

I know this "wonderful feeling" doesnt exactly go with the grain of how I dove into this post, but what the hell!
Not like my thoughts r ever coherent!

So I was sitting in the bus.
Pretty glumly, I would say.
I could almost feel my chin scraping against the floor of the bus.

Ok, this is an exaggeration.
It scraped only when the bus went over a speedbreaker.
And Bangalore has quite a few of them.
As if it wasnt already tough enough being glum.

But we're talking about a feeling.
A wonderful feeling in bold-n-italics!

I have always loved watching things whizz by.
People.
The world.
Life.
And at the risk of sounding cliched, deadlines!

I love sitting at the window of a speeding car or bus,
and shutting off all the noise around me.
That's not easy, but once I manage to do that, it's amazing.
Watching.
Listlessly.
Silently.
At the world, whizzing past.

It's as if I'm watching a silent film.
But in color.

And without fail, I'm reminded of this scene from some movie.
There's a camera in the vehicle.
It's night outside.
There's lights.
I dunno if this is correct English, but in my mind, there's lights.
From streets, shop-windows.
Sometimes from fairy-lights.
And all of them whizzing past.

And for some weird unknown reason, I've always found this very soothing.
It always seems a bit surreal, those ribbons of light streaking past.
As if Life itself has become, mercifully, if only for a few moments, Unreal.
And me, a distant detached silent spectator.
It's probably the only reason I clamor for a window-seat.

To tell you the truth, I was pretty depressed.
The soothing feeling of watching the world whizz by, notwithstanding.
The scraping chin pretty much established that.
As a final, desperate measure, I turned to music.
Slipped on my headphones and blindly hit the play button.

It was Begum Akhtar.
Admonishing.
"Koyaliya Mat Kar Pukar"

But it was good.
I closed my eyes.
And was transported to a cab-ride.
From a long time ago.

And I couldnt help smiling.
Inspite of the scraping chin.

It was Bombay.
Night.
A black-n-yellow Premier Padmini cab whizzing past Regal.
Jehangir Art Gallery, Fort...
The window rolled up almost all the way up.
She, there.
Staring straight ahead.
The I'm-never-ever-gonna-talk-to-you sort.
An occasional gust of wind, blowing back her hair.
A pearl earring in that undulating darkness.
It was wonderful.
Waiting for that gust of wind.
The stern face still staring straight ahead.
But sometimes throwing furtive glances through the corner of those eyes.
Big. And black.
And on being caught, making a face.
That face against a world whizzing by a cab window.

And I couldnt help smiling.

I still cant.

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Those Raindrops Keep Fallin' In My Head...

Since the past week or so, all calls/msgs frm my friends in Bombay have invariably been interspered w/ phrases like "it's been pouring non-stop for the past n days" "it's raining like crazy", "it's raining cats n dogs"...leaving me all green w/ envy! I miss those crazy unforgiving Bombay rains! Now Bangalore weather is all fine...it's cool comfortable n pleasant. But I miss the madness...the sheer downpour...the deafening din of rain lashing against windows, walls, trees...patiently...incessantly.

I esp miss the beach...it was so teasingly close...just a 5 min walk frm my place. N during heavy rains, I'd sometimes walk upto it n watch the sea raging, tossing n turning in all its glorious fury. But I must admit it's a scary sight. Usually the sea is very inviting...even when she sends huge waves at u. But during the monsoon, she's a totally different creature...all grey, opaque, choppy...foaming! But it'd somehow still be beautiful...a bit like staring at a snarling tigress! Lethally beautiful!

The best part wld be the crazy wind...so totally out of its mind! On which the rain wld hitch a ride n come lashing crashing onto ur face...ur back...it wld literally bite n u cld feel those teeth digging into u. But weirdly enough, it left u smiling...stupidly, at those furious clawing raindrops...n the sea, raging beyond! Sometimes when I'd feel braver -- read foolish -- than usual, I'd go stand right at the mouth of this storm-water drain, which emptied into the sea...n be confronted w/ this tantalizing spray frm the waves crashing onto those black boulders. One cldnt help wishing to magically metamorphose into a sea-gull...cackling away w/ pleasure...teasing even more, the irate sea goddess...

Bollywood has a weird fascination for the rains -- n for some very obvious reasons, of which I wont bore u w/. The result being that most things associated w/ that heavenly downpour have been cliched to death...none more so than walking on Marine Drive, hand in hand w/ gigantic waves crashing over u. Be that as it may, it certainly feels wonderful...sitting there on the wall...clothes clinging to ur soaking skin...rivulets of rain running down ur face...ur lips...the tongue involuntarily making a grab at raindrops...u sit there, watching raindrops on ivory arms...shivering slightly, u instinctively tend to huddle closer...n can literally feel the heat flowing wherever the bodies touch...it's such a delicious feeling...so very sensuous. N yet watching that gigantic sea roaring in front of u kinda makes u feel very vulnerable n fragile...as if it cld wreck everything...bringing it all down in a single...decisive...crash...

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Of Rain-soaked Songs...

Having grown up in Bombay, I've always loved walking in the rain...well, actually the unrelenting Bombay rains dun leave u w/ much of a choice than to walk in the rain...smtimes, it'd even conspire w/ the drainage system to turn the whole city into one large swirling mass of raging water...n then there'd be times when the transport system wld pitch in too...so if u had a home to go back to, u had to walk...even if it meant walking all the way frm Churchgate to Bandra! Yes, I've actually seen ppl doing that...there'd be this huge swarming soaking-wet mass of mankind inching slowly frm the "townside" to the "suburbs"...it's at such times that the spirit of the city really shone thru...there'd be ppl distributing tea snacks water...

I miss that place...

But I'll stroll down Nostalgia Streets of Bombay in another post :)

This is abt a beaaauuutiful evening frm a few days back...yes it was raining...n there was thunder n lightning too! But not at all frightening! Au contraire, it was just perfect...n since I cld see a lot of sky, it made it all the more dramatic...a bit like those cliched scenes in Hindi movies...the crack of lightning followed by a clap of thunder...but this evening was picture-perfect...

I cldnt catch the thunder all that well, coz I had these hauntingly beautiful voices crooning inside my head...now this might sound unromantic, but I had the headphones to my cell strapped onto my ears...I wish it was live or atleast frm a dashing pair of Cadence Arca speakers...but I wont nitpick :)

Thing is I was listening to sm really good songs...the mood was just right...n the weather almost tailor-made...
I love songs w/ poetry...feelings...w/ lyrics which not only try to convey deep emotions, but also do it thru gorgeous words. One of my favorite lyricists is Gulzar. Love his metaphors...n his songs r so unhurried...n so very earthy...his combination w/ Pancham n Asha is just amazing...the song that immediately springs to mind is Mera Kuch Saman frm Ijazat...one needs to listen to such songs on a rainy evening...preferably at arnd twilight...switch off all the lights...n listen to the songs as the evening light slowly fades into the night...

I was sitting there for hours n suddenly this thought crossed my mind...actually it's crossed my mind many times before n I know it -- fortunately -- will many more times. Thing is while listening to ghazals...or smthng similar, I invariably wish I were really a king! No, I'm not hungry for power, nor do I harbour any ambitions to rule the world...but only a king cld've had a courtful of these brilliant musicians. In a way m glad I'm not one, coz I'd've made a lousy king...the only things on my mind wld've been wine, song n women! ;-)

Anyway...

I was looking out my window, at the rain drop w/ this beautiful melody -- of course that was the music playing in my head(phones) -- but it kinda felt like it was falling in beat w/ the song. N the effect was just awesome...I cldnt help wishing I had a shamiana laid out on my terrace w/ these musicians performing just for me. I know it's too self-indulgent, but I just cldnt help wishing for it. Live music has a totally different feel to it. I've never been to any light-music concert...just rock concerts n classical music/dance ones...n they've just been electrifying. U can listen to them till the wee hours of the morning...n still keep wanting more!

So it's not very difficult to imagine what accomplished artists like Iqbal Bano, Farida Khanum, Mehdi Hasan, Jagjit Singh, Mallika Pukhraj, Abida Parveen...cld do...they wld no doubt have set the night on fire...

But unfortunately, the songs in my cell werent of these artists. They're there on my desktop...but what I did have wasnt bad at all. There was Lata crooning Sili Hawa Choo Gayi, Khamosh Sa Afsana...Asha singing Khaali Haath Shaam Ayi Hai, Mera Kuch Saaman, In Aankhon Ki Masti Mein...Suresh Wadkar, Seene Mein Jalan...Talat Aziz, Zindagi Jab Bhi ...Jagjit, Tumko Dekha Toh Yeh Khayal Aya, Tum Itna Jo Muskura Rahe Ho...I dun want to list all of them, but they were all of a similar mood...

It was an amazing evening...n I felt glad to feel weird enough to actually switch off all the lights n sit out at the window w/ nothing but the misty spray frm the rain on my face n that hauntingly melodious music in my ears...staring into the night sky n seeing a shamiana...ghungroos dancing w/ the raindrops...the swirl of a glittering skirt...n the occassional lightning n thunder...it was as if even the heavens were applauding the performances...

Zindagi Jab Bhi Teri Bazm Mein Laati Hai Humein
Yeh Zameen Chaand Se Behtar Nazar Aati Hai Humein

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